At times my prayers are filled with worry and desperation, a yearning to know why this or why that,…this anxious, unsettled feeling that I don’t know what’s next, this… clamoring almost. I pray this way sometimes for situations that seem so out of control; for myself, my loved ones, societal and even global issues. But I want to come to God in a peaceful and relaxed, soft, gentle way. With quiet assurance. You know, the way nuns pray.
I guess maybe when I can’t pray with peace, I need to think of coming to him for peace. I need to think of coming to God with my anxiety and trading it in for his peace.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Mt 11:28
Trust Fail?
I want to be able to come to God and rest in his presence. But what would that take? Well… trust, for sure. But how do we trust? Why is it I can trust God for certain things but not others?
How do we trust God for things when maybe deep down we have doubt? I think there’s a difference between saying or praying ‘I trust you God’ and actually believing it, actually trusting, deep down. I’m not sure we really have control over it. You can’t force yourself to believe something just by saying the words. And I don’t think you can force yourself to trust someone just by saying it either.
For example, do you know the “Trust Fall” that people do? It’s used for team building to help a group of people get to know each other and work better together. It goes like this; you stand up, close your eyes, and fall backwards into someone’s arms and you
just trust that they will catch you.
So if you’re doing a Trust Fall and it’s your best friend catching you, no problem. You have faith in that person and you do trust them. But if it’s a co-worker or a casual friend, you can tell yourself to trust them but maybe you don’t have faith in them, because you don’t have a history with them. So there’s really no basis for the trust.
Trust develops through familiarity and interaction with someone. That’s how you build trust, by repeatedly seeing someone come through for you. Think about it. When you have a history with someone, you know whether you can trust them or not. I think maybe trusting God is not so different.
Sometimes I struggle in obedience to God. But maybe I’ve missed a crucial step. I think it’s hard to obey or submit to God’s (or anyone’s) authority if you don’t trust them first. And I realized maybe trust in God can waver. So why is that? Maybe it has to do with our belief, which also can waver.
I do believe Lord, help my unbelief. Mk 9:24
Who Can You Trust?
But imagine if someone you barely knew did one overwhelmingly, selfless, trustworthy thing for you. Like, say, risked their own safety to push you out of the way of a moving vehicle…or jumped in a pool to save your drowning child…or donated a kidney to your dying spouse…
Would you need a lot of time and repeated situations to have trust in them? I think we’d be likely to grant them our trust pretty quickly.
How do we decide to trust? How does someone earn our trust? Usually over time, they kind of prove themselves to us; they honor their word, they stand up for us, they are there when we need them… They’re just someone we can count on. It takes time though, for someone to kind of reach that status in our life. Someone we can call a trustworthy friend.
For all these same reasons, it sometimes takes us time before we feel we can trust God. But think about what Jesus did for us… It was really the ultimate act of a trustworthy friend. It’s like if the new guy in middle school jumps in and defends the kid being bullied. Risking his own physical safety and social status, without even knowing this kid. Doesn’t he kind of instantly prove himself to be a stand-up guy, a person of integrity, a trustworthy friend?
Well, that’s exactly what Jesus did. Before you were born Jesus stood up for you. He went to bat for you. He sang your praises, and asked his Father to forgive you for anything you ever did or ever would do.
And he understands your weaknesses and your temptations. He knows you will continue to sin. But he’s on your side anyway. Not just pleading with the Father, not just standing up for you, but with the ultimate sacrifice. The most gruesome death we could ever imagine – and truly we can’t imagine it today. But that’s what he did for you and for me. That’s what he came here for.
And that’s why we can trust him. Instantly really. As soon as we can wrap our minds around all he did.
One way to build our trust in God is to establish a practice of gratitude. Making it a point to notice every good thing God has provided; in your relationships, in your salvation, in the beauty of nature, in your freedom and resources, in everything in your everyday life that is good.
Every good and perfect gift comes from above. Jas 1:17
